Faux news is trying to sue over a spoof of "The Simpsons" called "The O.J Simpsons".
May 07, 2007 by budz - Tommy Chong talks drugs
Apr 28, 2007 by budz - GOD Don't like ugly
Apr 27, 2007 by budz - Meat, Eggs, Wife and blowjob
Q. What doesn't belong in this list : Meat, Eggs, Wife, Blowjob?
A. Blowjob: You can beat your meat, eggs or wife, but you can't beat a blowjob.
Apr 14, 2007 by budz - Tootie and Natalie buy 3 bongs
Mar 23, 2007 by budz - Robin Williams Cocaine
Robin Williams live at the Met talking about Cocaine
Mar 23, 2007 by budz - horoscopes
The long forgotten Horoscopes Will be linked in the humor section as soon as i remember them again
Mar 05, 2007 by budz - Kids aged 2 and 5 smoking pot on video
wow, this is pretty fux0red up! WATAUGA, Texas (CNN) -- Police in suburban Fort Worth, Texas, said a videotape found in a search for stolen goods appears to show two teenagers persuading a 2-year-old boy and his 5-year-old brother to smoke marijuana.
Third-degree felony charges have been filed against the teenagers
“Why is marijuana against the law? It grows naturally upon our planet. Doesn't the idea of making nature against the law seem to you a bit . . . unnatural?” Bill Hicks
“Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two but can't remember what they are.” Matt Lauer
“i talked to Snoop doggy dogg today. well I'm not sure if you could realy call it talked because I could hardly understand what he was saying. But i think he was trying to communicate was that he wanted to work with me in some sort of capacity and something involving marijuana.” Marilyn Manson
“I think people need to be educated to the fact that marijuana is not a drug. Marijuana is an herb and a flower. God put it here. If He put it here and He wants it to grow, what gives the government the right to say that God is wrong?” Willie Nelson
Feb 20, 2007 by budz - even Wheel Watchers Know
Feb 18, 2007 by budz - True Story
True story, I was happy. My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. My parents helped us in every way, my friends encouraged me, and my girlfriend? She was a dream! There was only one thing bothering me, very much indeed, and that one thing was her younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty years of age, wore tight mini skirts and low cut blouses. She would regularly bend down when near me and I got many a pleasant view of her underwear. It had to be deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone else. One day little sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived. She whispered to me that soon I was to be married, and she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome and didn't really want to overcome. She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister. I was in total shock and couldn't say a word. She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want to go ahead with it just come up and get me." I was stunned. I was frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. When she reached the top she pulled down her panties and threw them down the stairs at me. I stood there for a moment, then turned and went straight to the front door. I opened the door and stepped out of the house. I walked straight towards my car. My future father-in-law was standing outside. With tears in his eyes he hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family.
"The moral of this story is:"
"Always keep your condoms in your car."
Feb 13, 2007 by budz - No marijuana and lung cancer link
The largest study of its kind has unexpectedly concluded that smoking marijuana, even regularly and heavily, does not lead to lung cancer.
"We hypothesized that there would be a positive association between marijuana use and lung cancer and that the association would be more positive with heavier use," he said. "What we found instead was no association at all, and even a suggestion of some protective effect."
New shit from Prodigy - Mac 10 Handle off of the Return Of The Mac mixtape:
Feb 09, 2007 by budz - Soda Pop ! Get HIGH on sugar.
Have you ever wondered why Coke comes with a smile? It’s because it gets you high. They took the cocaine out almost a hundred years ago. You know why? It was redundant.
In The First 10 minutes: 10 teaspoons of sugar hit your system. (100% of your recommended daily intake.) You don’t immediately vomit from the overwhelming sweetness because phosphoric acid cuts the flavor allowing you to keep it down.
20 minutes: Your blood sugar spikes, causing an insulin burst. Your liver responds to this by turning any sugar it can get it’s hands on into fat. (There’s plenty of that at this particular moment)
40 minutes: Caffeine absorption is complete. Your pupils dialate, your blood pressure rises, as a response your livers dumps more sugar into your bloodstream. The adenosine receptors in your brain are now blocked preventing drowsiness.
45 minutes: Your body ups your dopamine production stimulating the pleasure centers of your brain. This is physically the same way heroin works, by the way.
>60 minutes: The phosphoric acid binds calcium, magnesium and zinc in your lower intestine, providing a further boost in metabolism. This is compounded by high doses of sugar and artificial sweeteners also increasing the urinary excretion of calcium.
>60 Minutes: The caffeine’s diuretic properties come into play. (It makes you have to pee.) It is now assured that you’ll evacuate the bonded calcium, magnesium and zinc that was headed to your bones as well as sodium, electrolyte and water.
>60 minutes: As the rave inside of you dies down you’ll start to have a sugar crash. You may become irritable and/or sluggish. You’ve also now, literally, pissed away all the water that was in the Coke. But not before infusing it with valuable nutrients your body could have used for things like even having the ability to hydrate your system or build strong bones and teeth.
Feb 03, 2007 by budz - Legalize all drugs ?
The solution is to legalize all drugs, regulate and control the manufacturing process and license the marketplace. According to the National Institute for Drug Abuse, 107.8 billion U.S. dollars is associated with drugrelated crime, including criminal justice system costs and costs borne by victims of crime. The cost of treating drug abuse ( including research, training and prevention efforts ) was estimated to be $15.8 billion, a fraction of the cost to support the War on Drugs.
Feb 01, 2007 by budz - Play the game.. get a prize :)
Jan 28, 2007 by budz - Medical Marijuana
I'm a little late.. on this one folks.
You probably already know more about it than me.
However, if you'd like a medical marijuana prescription card and you live in California then check out Office of County Health Services web site. They have all the forms and information you need to get your legal medical marijuana. You just need a doctors note and fill out those forms then pay $13.00 and you can legally smoke the green.
Jan 25, 2007 by budz - ONE TOOT
Jan 15, 2007 by budz - Meth = Deth
Just say no to this Method of getting high.
Jan 05, 2007 by budz - Blasphemy Challenge
I don't know why anyone would do the Blasphemy Challenge .. here's a quote from the site
"You may damn yourself to Hell however you would like, but somewhere in your video you must say this phrase: "I deny the Holy Spirit."
Why? Because, according to Mark 3:29 in the Holy Bible, "Whoever blasphemes against the Holy Spirit will never be forgiven; he is guilty of an eternal sin." Jesus will forgive you for just about anything, but he won't forgive you for denying the existence of the Holy Spirit. Ever. This is a one-way road you're taking here."
Dec 26, 2006 by budz - Twas the day after Christmas
'Twas the day after Christmas, and all through the house, Every creature was hurtin', even the mouse. The toys were all broken, their batteries dead; Santa passed out, with some ice on his head.
Wrapping and ribbons just covered the floor, While upstairs the family continued to snore. And I in my T-shirt, new Reeboks and jeans, I went into the kitchen and started to clean.
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter, I sprang from the sink to see what was the matter. Away to the window I flew like a flash, Tore open the curtains, and threw up the sash.
When what to my wondering eyes should appear, But a little white truck, with an oversized mirror. The driver was smiling, so lively and grand; The patch on his jacket said "U.S. POSTMAN."
With a handful of bills, he grinned like a fox Then quickly he stuffed them into our mailbox. Bill after bill, after bill, they still came. Whistling and shouting he called them by name:
"Now Dillard's, now Broadway's, now Penny's and Sears Here's Robinson's, Levitz's and Target and Mervyn's. To the tip of your limit, every store, every mall, Now charge away--charge away--charge away all!"
He whooped and he whistled as he finished his work. He filled up the box, and then turned with a jerk. He sprang to his truck and he drove down the road, Driving much faster with just half a load.
Then I heard him exclaim with great holiday cheer, "Enjoy what you got. . . . . .you'll be paying all year!"
Dec 24, 2006 by budz - 'Twas the night before Christmas.
'Twas the night before Christmas. Old Santa was pissed. He cussed out the elves and threw down his list.
Miserable little brats, ungrateful little jerks. I have a good mind to scrap the whole works!
I've busted my ass for damn near a year, Instead of "Thanks Santa"--what do I hear?
The old lady bitches cause I work late at night. The elves want more money--The reindeer all fight.
Rudolph got drunk and goosed all the maids. Donner is pregnant and Vixen has AIDS.
And just when I thought that things would get better Those assholes from the IRS sent me a letter,
They say I owe taxes-- if that ain't damn funny Who the hell ever sent Santa Claus any money?
And the kids these days-- they all are the pits They want the impossible--Those mean little shits
I spent a whole year making wagons and sleds Assembling dolls...Their arms, legs and heads
I made a ton of yo yo's-- No request for them, They want computers and robots...they think - I'm IBM!
Flying through the air... dodging the trees Falling down chimneys and skinning my knees
I'm quitting this job there's just no enjoyment I'll sit on my fat ass and draw unemployment.
There's no Christmas this year now you know the reason, I found me a blonde. I'm going SOUTH for the season!
Dec 18, 2006 by budz - Marijuana top US cash crop
U.S. growers produce nearly $35 billion worth of marijuana annually, making the illegal drug the country's largest cash crop, bigger than corn and wheat combined, an advocate of medical marijuana use said in a study released on Monday.
The report, conducted by Jon Gettman, a public policy analyst and former head of the National Organization for the Reform of Marijuana Laws, also concluded that five U.S. states produce more than $1 billion worth of marijuana apiece: California, Tennessee, Kentucky, Hawaii and Washington.
Consumer Affairs . Com Lists the top 10 scams of 2006 - Check them out !
Dec 10, 2006 by budz - drug jokes
There's a new item on the market. They've mixed LSD and the birth control pill, so you can take a trip without the kids.
A young man on acid walked into a dentist's office and said, " Can you help me? I think I'm a moth." The dentist said, "You don't need a dentist. You need a psychiatrist." "Yes, I know," the man said. The dentist asked, "So then why did you come in here?" The man replied, "The light was on."
A speedfreak is out walking one fine evening. He finds a poor person on the street and helps him up. The poor person says, "Son, I'm a genie. And since you helped me I'll give you three wishes."
The speedfreak says, "I want a big bag of meth!", the genie says."Okay." POOF, the bag appears! They prepare some thick long white lines and share it between the two of them.
The next morning the genie asks "What's the second wish?", "I want two big bags of meth", says the speedfreak. "Okay," says the genie. POOF! And they prepare it and snort it between the two of them.
The next morning the genie asks "And the third wish?" "I want four big bags of meth!" POOOF!! So, they prepare lots of big lines and share it between the two of them.
Much later the genie gets up and says, "Okay, it's time for me to go." The genie takes a couple of steps, pauses, turns around and says, "Okay, just one more wish."
Q: Why do crack heads like to do it doggie style? A: So, they can both look out the window at the same time.
Q: What did the heroin addict get on his IQ test? A: Drool.
Q: What do you get if you swallow 10 kilos of cement? A: Stoned.
Alcohol and calculus dont mix...Dont drink and derive.
Dec 06, 2006 by budz - The Weed Song
The Weed Song is awesome! ;]
Dec 03, 2006 by budz - Miami Drug Bust
wow.
Nov 26, 2006 by budz - How Cocaine is Made
Watch and see how cocaine is made!
do not try this!
Nov 12, 2006 by budz - If drugs WERE legal
A 59 minute movie titled "If Drugs Were Legal"
Nov 12, 2006 by budz - Bullshit! War on Drugs
Penn and Teller make the argument that the war on drugs is plain and simple worthless bullshit.
Nov 10, 2006 by budz - 1980's Anti Drug PSA
this one is a classic!
Nov 08, 2006 by budz - Marijuana for kids !
MSNBC's Keith Olbermann interviews a bold and honest physician/pediatrician from the University of Southern California who explains how medical cannabis can be used to treat ADD in children. Its a great video
Nov 08, 2006 by budz - Cruna - Mary Mary (Hustlin Remix)
Cruna with a hot Mary Mary (Hustlin Remix)
watch this shit ya'll
Nov 05, 2006 by budz - Tenacious D Movie
The First Six Minutes of Tenacious D!
You got to check out the site Tenacious D Movie - it's freakin awesome!
Nov 05, 2006 by budz - Trippy 3d Paint Jobs
I bet you'd lose your mind checkin this shit out tripping trippy 3d rooms
Nov 05, 2006 by budz - Officer claims wife put pot in meatballs
NEW YORK - A detective suspended after testing positive for drugs says his wife served him meatballs spiked with marijuana because she wanted to keep him out of harm's way by forcing him into retirement. ADVERTISEMENT
An administrative judge believed him, and recommended this week that Anthony Chiofalo be reinstated.
Police Commissioner Raymond Kelly has yet to decide what to do.
"We can't comment because the matter will still come before the police commissioner for a final determination," said spokesman Paul Browne.
Chiofalo, a 22-year-veteran assigned to the Joint Terrorism Task Force, was suspended without pay last year after a random drug test found marijuana in his system. The officer denied ever using drugs and demanded a hearing.
During an investigation, his wife said she had substituted marijuana for oregano in her meatball recipe in hopes of forcing him to leave police work.
The detective's lawyers also presented evidence that she had passed a lie-detector test, and offered testimony from a toxicologist that the excuse was valid.
Norm Macdonald on the Daily Show with John Stewart talking about The Crocodile Hunter
Oct 20, 2006 by budz - Men's Rules
Finally, the guys' side of the story.We always hear "the rules" From the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules!
1. Men are NOT mind readers.
2. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
3. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
4. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
5. Crying is blackmail.
6. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
6. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
7. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
8. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem. See a doctor.
9. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
10. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.
11. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
12. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of them makes you sad or angry, then we meant the other one
13. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
14. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
15. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
16. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
17. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
18. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle, besides we know you will bring it up again later.
19. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.
20. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.
21. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.
22. You have enough clothes.
23. You have too many shoes.
24. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
25. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
Sep 20, 2006 by budz - medical marijuana
PROVIDENCE, RI --More than 250 Rhode Islanders are now permitted to possess small amounts of marijuana under the state's medical marijuana program.
Did you hear about the late Steve Irwins sunblock?
They had to pull it off the shelves because it didn't protect against harmful rays!
LMAO!!
R.I.P Steve.
Sep 04, 2006 by budz - Psychiatric Hotline
Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline. If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2. If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5, and 6. If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace the call. If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press. If you are depressed, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer. If you are delusional and occasionally hallucinate, please be aware that the thing you are holding on the side of your head is alive and about to bite off your ear.
Half Baked Escanaba In Da Moonlight Gummo A Clockwork Orange charlie and the chocolate factory ( original ) Requiem for a Dream Nightmare Before Christmas Yellow Submarine Kids Ken Park Fantasia 2000 Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
Aug 18, 2006 by budz - Cocaine
Cocaine Close - Using cocaine as bait to get a girl back to your room. You must be careful with a cocain close. Remember this rule:
1. If she does it: You’re fucking. 2. If you do it: You’re talking.
Jul 16, 2006 by budz - Busted
Busted - The Citizens Guide to Surviving Police Encounters (US)
Jul 09, 2006 by budz - North Jersey drug bust
A 25-year-old man faces drug charges after a sheriff's officer stopped him for a traffic offense Friday and discovered 53 pounds of cocaine in his vehicle's back seat estimated to be worth more than $1 million on the street, authorities said.
Observing two large suitcases in the back seat, the officer asked Martinez what was in them.
Martinez allegedly replied that he didn't know and that they did not belong to him, Maer said.
The officer then searched the suitcases and discovered the cocaine, wrapped in plastic bags, Maer said.
Thursday night officers in Marshalltown, IA siezed more than 215 pounds of marijuana -- a street value of nearly $200,000 ( a little underpriced if you ask me ).
Police say they had been watching two cars suspiciously traveling together from Arizona to Iowa.
A search of the house resulted in the bust, where they allegedly also found several grams of cocaine, hallucinogenic mushrooms, drug paraphernalia and money.
A man from Arizona and a man from New York face charges in the bust. A detective with the Mid-Iowa Drug Task Force says its the largest single drug seizure he's seen in 27 years.
Jun 27, 2006 by budz - I have a job
so,, .. I have a job now. They just implimented a random drug testing policy. The people that they *randomly* chose for the testing looked like they are partiers. Must be a qu qu c coincidence.
I guess they would fit into George Carlins Four Groups plan.
meanwhile bush has another photo op. Is there any doubt that's all this is? time
nothing wrong with an xxx image every once n awhile :)
Jun 20, 2006 by budz - Jerry Garcia Brownies
Jerry Garcia's Brownies -----------------------
Ingredients: 1 ounce marijuana 10 American dollars 1 1987 BMW
Procedure: 1) Get fucked up. 2) Send a roadie in the BMW to the store to buy $10 worth of brownies. 3) Eat, man!
May 28, 2006 by budz - School system Jolted
LOWER BURRELL, Pa. (AP) -- A middle school student was suspended for three days for sharing chewing gum because it contained caffeine, school officials said.
> I am passing this on to you because it definitely worked for me and > > we all could use more calm in our lives. By following the simple > > advice I heard on a Dr. Phil show, I have finally found inner peace. > Dr. Phil proclaimed the way to achieve inner peace is to finish all > the things you have started. So I looked around my house to see > things I started and hadn't finished; and, before leaving the house > this > morning I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of White > Zinfandel, > > a bottle of Baileys, a bottle of Kahlua, a package of Oreos, the > remainder of both Paxil CR and Valium prescriptions, the rest of > the Cheesecake, some Saltines and a box of Chocolates. > You have no idea how freaking good I feel. > Please pass this on to those you feel are in need of inner peace.
May 07, 2006 by budz - Open Seseme
Apr 29, 2006 by budz - legalized drugs ..
MEXICO CITY - Mexicans would be allowed to possess small amounts of cocaine, heroin, even ecstasy for their personal use under a bill approved by lawmakers that some worry could prove to be a lure to young Americans.
The bill now only needs President Vicente Fox's signature to become law and that does not appear to be an obstacle. His office said that decriminalizing drugs will free up police to focus on major dealers.
Apr 04, 2006 by budz - Canada Scraps Plans to Legalize Marijuana
OTTAWA - Canada's new Conservative Party Prime Minister Stephen Harper said Monday that Ottawa does not intend to reintroduce legislation to legalize small amounts of marijuana.
Speaking to the Canadian Professional Police Association, Harper received applause when he reiterated that the legislation drawn up by the previous Liberal Party government would not be reintroduced when the new Parliament sits Monday.
The bill, which had alarmed law enforcement officials in Canada and the United States, died on the floor of the House of Commons after the Liberal Party lost elections in January.
Under the bill, getting caught with about half an ounce or less of marijuana would have brought a citation akin to a traffic ticket, not a criminal record. While possession of marijuana would have remained illegal, the bill was intended to prevent young people from being saddled with a lifelong criminal record.
Apr 04, 2006 by budz - Man takes 40,000 ecstasy tabs in 9 years
· Usage increased to 25 tablets a day at peak · Memory problems and paranoia may be lasting
Doctors from London University have revealed details of what they believe is the largest amount of ecstasy ever consumed by a single person. Consultants from the addiction centre at St George's Medical School, London, have published a case report of a British man estimated to have taken around 40,000 pills of MDMA, the active ingredient in ecstasy, over nine years. The heaviest previous lifetime intake on record is 2,000 pills
Apr 01, 2006 by budz - home remedies not approved by doctors
1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto. The blockage will be almost instantly removed.
2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.
3. Avoid arguments with the little woman about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink.
4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.
5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.
7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget about the toothache.
Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are:
You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.
Mar 25, 2006 by budz - I Felt My Face Just Melting
Wired on methamphetamine and craving more, Ricky Dale Houchens set out one night last November to cook a fresh batch of the drug. He met some buddies in rural Scottsville, Ky., at a trailer that doubled as a crude lab. As the concoction simmered, Houchens, 27, noticed it was getting too hot. When he picked up the pitcher, the bottom gave way and the combustible mixture splashed onto a burner. The resulting blast engulfed Houchens in a ball of fire.
I've tried just about every energy drink there is.. well that I can find anyways. I've ranked them by effectiveness.. it just so happens to be the same order for taste. For maximum effectiveness chug that shit on an empty stomache and watch out
#1 Stacker2 Stinger Pounding Punch flavor 8.4 oz Pounding Punch
This is a little old.. but a lot of people probably haven't seen it still. Dan Bucci & Shrooms
Dan ate some shrooms and went crazy ending up dying from a cop shooting him.. check it out.
Mar 09, 2006 by budz - skeet skeet skeet skeet
Ever wonder what skeet means? Well the people over at faqs.org let u know whats up. Some of that shits pretty funnaaay
Mar 09, 2006 by budz - Wal-ocaust
A Georgia man has received a C&D from Wal-Mart for marketing his Wal-ocaust shirts which compare wal-mart to the holocaust. Check his site out @ walocaust
We now have a new poster by the handle of takethatsubspace.
Now for a brief intermission of swishin.
Feb 02, 2006 by budz - Six more weeks of winter
Well, Phil the groundhog @ ( lol ) Gobblers knob seen his fat shadow again. Meaning that we'll have 6 more weeks of winter weather. So get your razors and dollar bills out its gonna snow.
